As you may know, I was married to a very well-known NBA player, whose whole world I became totally engrossed in, and somehow, along the way, I lost myself. Don’t get me wrong. I was more than happy being a supportive wife and mother, but there was a part of me that was itching to create my own identity and leave a legacy for my children.
Sometimes, as wives and mothers, we become so good at taking care of other people that we forget how to take care of ourselves. Five children and 10 years later, I was faced with the painful truth that my marriage was over, and I had to take a long, hard look in the mirror and make a decision. Would I wallow in self-pity and let the ordeal overtake me or would I find the strength to keep going and get back into the game of life? I chose the latter, and my plan was simple…
On Finding love again:
There are so many things I want to do in this new [phase of my life], including finding love again. I’m dating someone special and have found it to be extremely helpful in the rebuilding process. The worst thing I could do is believe that because I’m divorced I’m not desirable or because I’m divorced I’ll never find love again. And while I’m not quite ready to be married again, I’m ready for whatever life brings my way, and I know I can handle it.
SHAUNIE’S POST-DIVORCE PLAN
1. Surround yourself with people you trust and who will be a great support system for you and your children.
2. Figure out what you are passionate about and start working toward it every day.
3. Pray as much as possible to help eliminate any negative thoughts of regret, doubt, and fear.
4. Set aside “me” time that includes exercising and doing fun activities with friends to help you find yourself again.
5. Keep things as amicable as possible with your children’s other parent to minimize the impact on them. We are the ones going through a divorce—not them—so don’t put them in the middle.